The long walk home

It's my last night here in London, and like all my last nights in England--there was no absence of tears. I woke up and packed up all my clothes and souvenirs to come home. There's two things that I hate... packing and leaving England... and this was both. So you can understand how I could be a little bitter this morning. After we had a pre-checkout, we went and did the last few things that we still wanted to do whilst we were here. My friend and I checked out the Peter Pan statue cause she really wanted to see it; I bought myself enough chocolate-covered hazelnuts that will last me the plane ride over the pond (I'm hoping they last that long); we became dorky tourists and sought out Platform 9 3/4 (from Harry Potter) and took stupid pictures; we did some last minute shopping at Camden Town; and then we rode a double-decker bus home. That sufficed for me.

Then tonight, I went to a Relief Society/Young Women activity at church. It was the coolest, most creative activity. It was basically like speed dating, except you weren't trying to find a date. Basically, the Relief Society woman sat on the inside of the circle and the Young Women sat on the outside and we basically took about 5 minutes talking to one another before we switched seats and began talking to another person. It was such an awesome activity! I learned so much about the older women here (even in 5 minutes) and they were so fun to get to know. Every time they would introduce themselves, they all talked about how long they had been members of the church and how important the gospel was in their lives. And they would go off telling spiritual stories and what a blessing it has been to have been a part of the church. I hope the Young Women gained as much from this activity as I did, because I thought it was ingenious, as well as memorable. I'm truly going to miss the Lea Valley Ward so much. They have made such an impact on my life and to feel their spirit each Sunday was truly a great blessing. I hated saying goodbye because I don't know if I will ever see them again. It's not fun having to make friends, only to have to leave them in a short amount of time. It's so hard.

Walking home from the tube station tonight was probably the slowest I've ever walked home. I reflected on my time here and that's when the tears started to flow. I wish I could explain how much this place feels like home to me. I remember the very first time I came here in 2000 and being at the airport about to fly home. I remember looking at the English sky for what I thought would be the last time, and having my heart just break. I sat in the boarding area of the airport with my mum and just cried my heart out. I've never had anything hurt so much as having to say goodbye to a place that I had barely come to know. But I knew then, that England was a special place for me because only things that are the most important can make your heart ache so much when you have to leave them. My time here has been a very enjoyable one and I'm sad to see it end. I know I will probably come back here yet again... but there is always the foreboding feeling as if it may not happen, which is what scares me the most. It's like Robert Frost's poem, "The Road not Taken," where you have to chose a certain path and "...knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back." I just hope that whatever road I ever end up taking, still has a detour that will lead me back to my home--England.